The Powerful Love for Your Children

I always thought that I would enjoy being a mom. I knew that I would love my kids beyond any I could imagine. And people will tell you that it's amazing being a parent. Sure, I figured that. But words cannot describe what it's really like to be a parent until it actually happens.

One of the first things that became more clear to me was how much God really loves us. We look at Graham and would do anything for him. And when he cries or is grumpy or is smiling, we love him. Suddenly having those feelings for my own child made me realize how much God really loves us. I got it before but without actually feeling those feelings, I don't know how much I really got it. When Graham got his heel pricked for a blood test and he screamed and screamed because they were squeezing to get blood out, we came home and Nick said "I would have taken your place, Graham, if I could have". And that's exactly what God did with his Son. Wow. I mean I knew that...but now we can actually feel it and becomes a little clearer.

And you know how parents say that every little thing their kid does is cute? Yeah, that's true. Non-parents might think it's weird or a little over the top but just wait! You will have your child and everything is adorable. Even changing a poopy diaper isn't horrible (and you will end up wearing it from time to time...still trying to figure out how poop got splattered high on the wall in the nursery...). It's your kid! You made them and their slobber, spit up, pee, poop, boogers...it's all good because you made them! Now to change another kids poopy...that's different because they aren't mine. I would do it, dont' get me wrong, but I might be a little more phased by it.

I am starting to see kids and babies in a different light. I was in Target and heard a baby cry. Suddenly I wasn't grimacing at the sound but instead, my heart sank because I knew that little baby needed somthing and it made me think of Graham. And anytime I see a little kid on tv or in the news, I think of Graham. The thought of something happening to him makes my stomach flip over. Of course I knew I would love him this much but you can never understand what that emotion feels like until the baby arrives. It's undescribable. It's like a switch is flipped on inside of you and the needs of your little one come first. There have been mornings where Nick had to remind me to eat breakfast (and I hardly ever miss breakfast) because Graham needed fed or was crying and needed held. I wanted to make sure he was okay first.

Nick's dad was adopted at the age of 2 months. He spent the first 2 months of his life in an orphanage where the nuns didn't pick him up much (because there were other kids and not enough people to go around). Graham is 2 months. I look back over the past couple of months and think of him laying in his crib crying for someone to come get him and no one does. That makes me heart sink and I feel for my father-in-law. I think alot of how babies are treated at a younger age can affect them (like Nick's dad isn't great at showing emotion). The other day Graham was just chilling in his bouncy seat so I set him outside the shower door and got in the shower. About halfway thru my shower he started whimpering. I was trying to hurry up and finish my shower and rinse off and his whimper turned into a full blown cry and scream of desperation. I had to finish my shower and get the soap off me so I hurried, dried off, and picked him up (naked and with wet hair but you do what you gotta do). He stopped crying and was down to heavy breathing because he got himself so worked up. He just wanted me to hold him and let him know I was there. It actually makes me feel good knowing that when I pick him up from such a scream that he knows that everything is okay. I held him for awhile to calm him down (still naked...). I put him back down and made sure he was comfy and he just looked at me and went to sleep. If that doesn't melt your heart I don't know what will! Anyways enough of my sentimental blabber.

So for all you moms out there - here's to you. And to all you who want to be moms, get ready! It's crazier and more amazing and harder than you could ever imagine. But its so worth it.